A wise friend told me today that I need to try to stop saving the world.
I never thought that is possible to be too compassionate. I was wrong!
Truth is, I do try to save the world. If I spent 50% of my time working on my marriage, me and Drew as I do trying to help other people, we would be a-okay.
A while ago I wrote a blog on Myspace discussing how I try too hard to help people, and that I shouldn’t that because you can’t change people and you shouldn’t invest so much into people. But yet I always finding myself trying to help someone. Who am I to say if someone even needs help?
But here is the real reason. I try to help people because when I needed it most in my life, I had no one there. I didn’t have someone to run to and complain to and give me real advice. At the lowest people in my life I truly felt alone. I couldn’t discuss what I was going through with anyone. I don’t ever want anyone to feel that way. So when I see someone struggling or going through something I immediately ask them, are you okay, can I help? Because that’s all people need sometimes, a shoulder. If I have to that person, I’ll be it. I know how it feels to not have one.
I just care too much. I care when I see a friend is not following the right paths in life. I care when I see someone not being up to their potential. I know I come off as judgmental and rude, but truth is, I only say something when I care. That’s my way of showing that I love you. But I need to step back for a while because it’s overwhelming trying to live your life while helping someone else all the time.
To be honest, at this time in my life, I am not ready to help people. I have way too much on my own hands. My marriage IS struggling right now. I use to think that was a bad thing. Like, ‘omg, I’d never tell anyone that my marriage is not good.’ Well I’m done being fake. Me and Drew are having a hard time and that’s nothing I’m ashamed of because guess what, your first year of marriage is going to be tough too. We’re getting help and doing everything we can to make things good. Right now I just can’t handle my problems AND other people’s problems. When I first thought of this, I felt guilty because I’m like, if I’m the person who someone feels comfortable with to talk about things, I want to listen, I want to be there, I can’t turn people away. But you know what, if a friend really cares about me, they’ll know I just need a break and understand. Everyone needs time alone sometimes.
I do need to take a break from the ‘real world.’ I need to focus on my marriage and son right now.
I never thought that is possible to be too compassionate. I was wrong!
Truth is, I do try to save the world. If I spent 50% of my time working on my marriage, me and Drew as I do trying to help other people, we would be a-okay.
A while ago I wrote a blog on Myspace discussing how I try too hard to help people, and that I shouldn’t that because you can’t change people and you shouldn’t invest so much into people. But yet I always finding myself trying to help someone. Who am I to say if someone even needs help?
But here is the real reason. I try to help people because when I needed it most in my life, I had no one there. I didn’t have someone to run to and complain to and give me real advice. At the lowest people in my life I truly felt alone. I couldn’t discuss what I was going through with anyone. I don’t ever want anyone to feel that way. So when I see someone struggling or going through something I immediately ask them, are you okay, can I help? Because that’s all people need sometimes, a shoulder. If I have to that person, I’ll be it. I know how it feels to not have one.
I just care too much. I care when I see a friend is not following the right paths in life. I care when I see someone not being up to their potential. I know I come off as judgmental and rude, but truth is, I only say something when I care. That’s my way of showing that I love you. But I need to step back for a while because it’s overwhelming trying to live your life while helping someone else all the time.
To be honest, at this time in my life, I am not ready to help people. I have way too much on my own hands. My marriage IS struggling right now. I use to think that was a bad thing. Like, ‘omg, I’d never tell anyone that my marriage is not good.’ Well I’m done being fake. Me and Drew are having a hard time and that’s nothing I’m ashamed of because guess what, your first year of marriage is going to be tough too. We’re getting help and doing everything we can to make things good. Right now I just can’t handle my problems AND other people’s problems. When I first thought of this, I felt guilty because I’m like, if I’m the person who someone feels comfortable with to talk about things, I want to listen, I want to be there, I can’t turn people away. But you know what, if a friend really cares about me, they’ll know I just need a break and understand. Everyone needs time alone sometimes.
I do need to take a break from the ‘real world.’ I need to focus on my marriage and son right now.
"Love one person, take care of them until you die.
You know, raise kids.
Have a good life.
Be a good friend.
And try to be completely who you are.
And figure out what you personally love.
And go after it with everything you've got
no matter how much it takes.”
-Angelina Jolie
you two will make it. i know it. =]
ReplyDeletei love you, and im always here if you want to talk, do not forget that.