So Jennifer Love Hewitt just came out with this book called “The Day I Shot Cupid.” I have not read it, but I’m secretly wanting to. I heard on the radio some snippets of it, just rules for handling a breakup. It got me thinking about my own personal breakup experiences. Being the tender age of 20, I have still had my share of breakups. I’ve had all the worst kinds.. even the “it’s not you it’s me.” Granted that was sophomore year, but it was terrible to hear those words. Anyhow- I think girls are going through breakups in all the wrong ways. Here is my advice.
First week:
-Identify what kind of breakup it was. Was it the long time coming breakup, or the out of nowhere breakup, you’re cheating breakup, or the dreaded “its not me, it’s you” breakup. This may be helpful in the getting over him process.
-Do not think about it for at least 48 hours. Yep, that’s right. Avoid it ladies. Most women say take the first few days to go eat whatever you want, go out with the girlfriends, etc. Don’t do any of it. Ignore it. Act as if he is visiting Spain and can not talk to you and that even if the sky was falling down and nothing is wrong. Here is why. You are extremely sensitive after a breakup. Your thoughts are no longer in your control, you’re emotions have completely taken over. Acting out (which we all do) is just going to make you feel worst. Then, you’ll start thinking… ‘will I ever be better?’ That is bad. Live your life as if nothing changed. (Just, without him).
-After 48 hours, go ahead, cry. Sob. Scream. Throw things. Tear up things. Kick the walls. I know your mad, let it out.
-You only get one day to throw your fit. After you’re through, you can start working through it. Don’t start calling the girlfriends quite yet; listen to music, work out, write.
-Do not talk about it with your girlfriends… at first. You should not be focused on what they are saying, get yourself in check first.
-Avoid anything that makes you think of him. Yep, avoid it. Do not listen to the band he introduced you to, don’t go to the restaurant he introduced you to, do not go to JCPenney and sniff the cologne he wears, don’t look at pictures of you two or old notes. It’s always been beyond me why girls like to remind themselves of the guy during the breakup. This is stupid. (One day, you can go back and remember all these sweet little things. AFTER you are 100% you are over him. But not now.)
-Don’t go hooking up with random men. There are too many reasons to explain for that.
-Don’t do anything drastic. No cutting hair, no diets, no new makeup, no new wardrobes, etc. You are going to go for the exact opposite of what you are now, and you’ll end up hating it after the hurt.
Second week:
-The only difference in this week is that you can start telling girlfriends. Let the man bashing parties commend. (Drinks and other mind alternating subjects are allowed during these man bashing parties.)
Third week:
Start getting back into your normal routine. Go back out with your girlfriends. Start smiling again. That’s all you get is two weeks, to at least sulk. Not saying that your heart isn’t going to hurt still, but if you let it go past two weeks, you’ll start making the sulking a normal routine. We do not want that. Therefore, take the third week to slowly stop sulking and realizing, it's done.
Hints for breaking up:
-Never ask your ex’s friend how they’re doing. Even if your ex has gained 40 lbs and has not showered for two weeks and lost his job; the friend is going to make his life sound awesome (just as you would for a girlfriend). Even though as women we know this, it will still bother you.
-No not stalk. Do not drive by his house. Do not drive by his work. Do not look at his Facebook a lot. First off it’s creepy. Second off, you’re not using your time productively in life. But most importantly, you’re heart is going to drop the second you see something you don’t want to. So don’t put yourself in that place.
-Delete them. Delete them from your Facebook. From your cell phone. Hide the pictures (if your anti-throwing away, such as I). Get delete happy and don’t have any shame in it.
-Don't try to casually run into them. You know how you know that he hangs out at this certain place on Tuesday? Don’t go there. One, you look desperate to see them because he knows that you know he’ll be there. Two, seeing him will only make it worst; ESPECIALLY if he doesn’t talk to you, which he probably won’t.
-If you do see him, don’t try to get his attention. Men know when you’re doing this. Usually, you end up looking retarded too.
-Get over the fact that you guys may not be able to be friends. Especially when all the feelings are new and everything just happened, friends probably won’t happen. It hurts, it sucks, but it’s life. If you loved him that much as a friend, you shouldn’t have dated him.
-Don’t talk to him about what happened in your relationship. I use to always want to talk to him about what went wrong. I even did the worst: talked about (the SUPER dreaded) what-ifs. Which I have found that it will usually upset one of you, if not both of you. The what-ifs didn’t happen. Don’t talk about them. Don’t think about them. Say goodbye to what-ifs.
-Don’t sit and analyze the relationship. There is not one huge reason in life why people don’t work out. It’s not you. It’s not him. It’s life. People don’t work out. No biggy.
-Move on. Period.
Yeah, you’re welcome.
First week:
-Identify what kind of breakup it was. Was it the long time coming breakup, or the out of nowhere breakup, you’re cheating breakup, or the dreaded “its not me, it’s you” breakup. This may be helpful in the getting over him process.
-Do not think about it for at least 48 hours. Yep, that’s right. Avoid it ladies. Most women say take the first few days to go eat whatever you want, go out with the girlfriends, etc. Don’t do any of it. Ignore it. Act as if he is visiting Spain and can not talk to you and that even if the sky was falling down and nothing is wrong. Here is why. You are extremely sensitive after a breakup. Your thoughts are no longer in your control, you’re emotions have completely taken over. Acting out (which we all do) is just going to make you feel worst. Then, you’ll start thinking… ‘will I ever be better?’ That is bad. Live your life as if nothing changed. (Just, without him).
-After 48 hours, go ahead, cry. Sob. Scream. Throw things. Tear up things. Kick the walls. I know your mad, let it out.
-You only get one day to throw your fit. After you’re through, you can start working through it. Don’t start calling the girlfriends quite yet; listen to music, work out, write.
-Do not talk about it with your girlfriends… at first. You should not be focused on what they are saying, get yourself in check first.
-Avoid anything that makes you think of him. Yep, avoid it. Do not listen to the band he introduced you to, don’t go to the restaurant he introduced you to, do not go to JCPenney and sniff the cologne he wears, don’t look at pictures of you two or old notes. It’s always been beyond me why girls like to remind themselves of the guy during the breakup. This is stupid. (One day, you can go back and remember all these sweet little things. AFTER you are 100% you are over him. But not now.)
-Don’t go hooking up with random men. There are too many reasons to explain for that.
-Don’t do anything drastic. No cutting hair, no diets, no new makeup, no new wardrobes, etc. You are going to go for the exact opposite of what you are now, and you’ll end up hating it after the hurt.
Second week:
-The only difference in this week is that you can start telling girlfriends. Let the man bashing parties commend. (Drinks and other mind alternating subjects are allowed during these man bashing parties.)
Third week:
Start getting back into your normal routine. Go back out with your girlfriends. Start smiling again. That’s all you get is two weeks, to at least sulk. Not saying that your heart isn’t going to hurt still, but if you let it go past two weeks, you’ll start making the sulking a normal routine. We do not want that. Therefore, take the third week to slowly stop sulking and realizing, it's done.
Hints for breaking up:
-Never ask your ex’s friend how they’re doing. Even if your ex has gained 40 lbs and has not showered for two weeks and lost his job; the friend is going to make his life sound awesome (just as you would for a girlfriend). Even though as women we know this, it will still bother you.
-No not stalk. Do not drive by his house. Do not drive by his work. Do not look at his Facebook a lot. First off it’s creepy. Second off, you’re not using your time productively in life. But most importantly, you’re heart is going to drop the second you see something you don’t want to. So don’t put yourself in that place.
-Delete them. Delete them from your Facebook. From your cell phone. Hide the pictures (if your anti-throwing away, such as I). Get delete happy and don’t have any shame in it.
-Don't try to casually run into them. You know how you know that he hangs out at this certain place on Tuesday? Don’t go there. One, you look desperate to see them because he knows that you know he’ll be there. Two, seeing him will only make it worst; ESPECIALLY if he doesn’t talk to you, which he probably won’t.
-If you do see him, don’t try to get his attention. Men know when you’re doing this. Usually, you end up looking retarded too.
-Get over the fact that you guys may not be able to be friends. Especially when all the feelings are new and everything just happened, friends probably won’t happen. It hurts, it sucks, but it’s life. If you loved him that much as a friend, you shouldn’t have dated him.
-Don’t talk to him about what happened in your relationship. I use to always want to talk to him about what went wrong. I even did the worst: talked about (the SUPER dreaded) what-ifs. Which I have found that it will usually upset one of you, if not both of you. The what-ifs didn’t happen. Don’t talk about them. Don’t think about them. Say goodbye to what-ifs.
-Don’t sit and analyze the relationship. There is not one huge reason in life why people don’t work out. It’s not you. It’s not him. It’s life. People don’t work out. No biggy.
-Move on. Period.
Yeah, you’re welcome.
No comments:
Post a Comment